The cold which has been haunting my house finally made its way into my body last Sunday.
It felt like someone was sitting on my head. It weighed at least 80 pounds. I have had nasty things dripping out of my nose, which I can't feel anymore since I have blown it into death scar mode. It passed beyond "burnt" hurting Thursday sometime. This cold is the worst ever. The first 3 days I thought I was dying. I actually missed a day and a half of work.
From Tuesday through Friday I was a mouth breathing, dripping, snot machine. (I know you want this illness dontcha?) I felt like there was no way I could go on all day, then I had to get up 3 or 4 times every night to take more medicine. Medicine which I believe did absolutely NO GOOD until today.
Saturday. A full week of snotdoodle: (fever alternating with cold chills, aches, pains, and quite a few unbelievably prolific gross bodily functions)
Today I believe I may survive. Last night the cold pills made it possible for me to breathe through my nose. In the case of this "super cold" I believe the cold pills are just something I got to say I tried. I envy the people for whom the medicine works. It just makes me look dumber and feel poorer, not better.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
We hold these truths to be self evident
What goes up - comes down. Usually with the gooey side down on your clothes or carpet
If you do anything wrong, someone you know will be watching
If you do anything wrong and embarrassing, everyone you know will be watching.
Grandchildren are your only reward for not killing your kids when they were teenagers.
The size of the zit is proportional to the # of places (or important events) you must go to today
If you are having your picture taken, the zit will become mount Vesuvius and multiply.
The cat is trying to kill you by winding through your legs at the exact moment you are taking a step
Ditto the dog. And the kids.
There is no weather man. They are all really inept psychics. Mother nature does as she pleases, when she pleases, where she pleases, for as long as she pleases.
The amount of money you have in the bank will be exactly $100.00 short of what you need for the latest $ crisis.
Nobody knows how to drive, except you and me.
If you do anything wrong, someone you know will be watching
If you do anything wrong and embarrassing, everyone you know will be watching.
Grandchildren are your only reward for not killing your kids when they were teenagers.
The size of the zit is proportional to the # of places (or important events) you must go to today
If you are having your picture taken, the zit will become mount Vesuvius and multiply.
The cat is trying to kill you by winding through your legs at the exact moment you are taking a step
Ditto the dog. And the kids.
There is no weather man. They are all really inept psychics. Mother nature does as she pleases, when she pleases, where she pleases, for as long as she pleases.
The amount of money you have in the bank will be exactly $100.00 short of what you need for the latest $ crisis.
Nobody knows how to drive, except you and me.
Monday, February 15, 2010
White wallpaper
Every day I go to work. Every day I go home. I ride in the same car on the same roads. I notice the same stuff, I don't notice the same stuff. I watch TV for mostly the same amount of time, brush my teeth in the same sink, greet my doggies and grand kids the same way.
I LIKE same. I want same. May I be so bold as to say I REVEL in same.
Don't change my toothpaste, don't move my remote out of my reach, don't want a different job, or kids, or grand kids.
Plain old vanilla IS a flavor too. I do actually want everything beyond predictable and boring in my life. I've had the fun, now I want the peace and comfort of familiar.
I want to wear my 10 year old sweats with a ragged t shirt and fuzzy sox. I am no longer a fashionista. (shut up,,, I was a fashionista before I gave birth to you)
I do not want anyone or anything exciting and earth shaking in my section.
So call me old, call me stodgy, call me boring if you must, but for heavens sake don't truly think I want change and am sitting here waiting for you to wake me up to the "fun" of whatever joyous venture you have planned.
I need napage.
I crave quiet.
I am old enough to know that about me.
I am NOT going to Yellowstone National Park again unless a space shuttle lands on my bed and launches me into space and my remains fall down over Wyoming.
EVER
Somebody actually said to me yesterday, "We should plan a trip to Yellowstone" with at least 4 kids, 3 dogs, 3 adults
I LIKE same. I want same. May I be so bold as to say I REVEL in same.
Don't change my toothpaste, don't move my remote out of my reach, don't want a different job, or kids, or grand kids.
Plain old vanilla IS a flavor too. I do actually want everything beyond predictable and boring in my life. I've had the fun, now I want the peace and comfort of familiar.
I want to wear my 10 year old sweats with a ragged t shirt and fuzzy sox. I am no longer a fashionista. (shut up,,, I was a fashionista before I gave birth to you)
I do not want anyone or anything exciting and earth shaking in my section.
So call me old, call me stodgy, call me boring if you must, but for heavens sake don't truly think I want change and am sitting here waiting for you to wake me up to the "fun" of whatever joyous venture you have planned.
I need napage.
I crave quiet.
I am old enough to know that about me.
I am NOT going to Yellowstone National Park again unless a space shuttle lands on my bed and launches me into space and my remains fall down over Wyoming.
EVER
Somebody actually said to me yesterday, "We should plan a trip to Yellowstone" with at least 4 kids, 3 dogs, 3 adults
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