Wisdom of the aged

For my birthday this year I decided to regress. I am now 50 years old. Congrats to me on being a half century old! Again! There is a little wisdom in being this old that needs to be passed on.
So, here it is. My top 10 list of things I have learned from being this blessed old.
# 1 There is no limit to the number of things that can go wrong with an old human body. There is actually a "downward slide scale". All old people seem to accept all this deterioration as normal!
# 2 Smile, everyone needs one now and then and it costs you nothing to give one away
# 3 You can tell a lot about a person by how they react to a traffic jam.
# 4 There is no suckage like teen-age suckage
# 5 Never, I repeat, never let your butt get above your head after 40. It's not a pretty sight. It could be harmful. Above all stay off the trampoline.
# 6 Where you live is not half as important as how you live.
# 7 There is a sub-structure below Hell, they call it a p.m.s., below that is pregnancy, in the vast bottomless pit is MENOPAUSE
# 8 Children are like chocolate: Best when you first get them, messy, fattening, and you will miss them when they're gone
# 9 Let the oven warm up, the water come to a complete boil, and the kids make mistakes. Be patient and forgive. This is good for YOU.
# 10 Love, a good relationship with God, family, chocolate, and a place to call home. This is all you really need.