Monday, May 25, 2009

Drip Drip Drip

I am at home today doing the watch the boys thing. This is the 23rd episode of Sponge Bob whatever pants I have (listened) to while doing the laundry, cleaning, feeding the dog, and generally trying to stay the heck away from the TV. (Somebody get me a gun)
Of course, since we all had to be here for whatever this holiday is, the weather is Hurricane force rain outside. I'm not kidding it is pouring. And has been pouring for 3 days. The kids are bored, the trampoline is falling apart, the ground looks like Bikini Bottom, and the dog smells bad. Usually when I am watching the boys I can kick back with the (little green music holder) and rock out. However, since it is colder than an ice cube and Kale keeps stripping down and going outside to see if that rain is still cold... I have no Muzak to sooth me except what I can drum up in my soggy brain. I mentally can not bring any songs to mind except the theme song to Sponge Bob so here goes with my version:
Who lives in a barnacle under my butt?
Who screams every minute and acts like a putz?
Who's shows most annoying in all of TV?
If screaming insanity is something you need,
Turn on Nickelodeon and finally go nuts.
OK so it is not the best poem I ever wrote, but I am working with one brain cell activated and a huge psychological deficit here.

Friday, May 22, 2009

The BLA (guh) of it

I have a small confession:

What I do not understand about this blog spot would fill a very large bucket
I am not very technologically proficient
Can't do pictures (attaching, editing, removing)
Can't do backgrounds (colors, moving objects, links)
Sometimes can post a blog or edit one.
Very proficient at deleting the one I meant to save and having to re type it.
Exemplary at miss-spelling and skipping a word.

My daughter Sarah is using her webcam as a normal camera and sending out pictures of her son's latest haircut.
Not to be jealous or anything (I really appreciate the pix) but darn it I can barely aim and click the camera.

Tobi (also a daughter) has her self portrait on the web. Which she took herself. I would be lucky to have 1/2 my thumb and a blur on the photo.

Britt (also a daughter are you seeing a trend here?) puts all these cool pictures and backgrounds on her blog.

My antitechnologyism is really getting to me. Last week I texted an Egyptian hieroglyph to Brit's phone.
She forwards my texts to Tobi and Sarah for interpretation, then gets her sisters consensus on what I meant to text, then texts me back.
All this is done faster than I can do the first screw-up.

So call me the reigning queen of terrible at technology then please Tobi, get me a new background and some cute pix.



Monday, May 18, 2009

Ode de toydee

O Charmin you are so soft & sweet
I never use you without a little sigh
and even though you are for my butt and tweet (er)
I love you more than that gas station brand BD buys

Thank you Sarah for the ton-o-fun you sent to me for mothers day
I love the softness and sweetness of it and after all the chocolate BD made for me, it was most useful.
We shall be well-prepared for the visitation of the members of Stark Industries.
My hemorrhoids salute you.
(Now there's a visual for ya)

Friday, May 15, 2009

Boom Boom

This was a picture of a gun
Tomorrow is Armed Forces Day. Yee Haw.
In consideration of what day it is I wanted to dedicate this blog to my son in law Joel who is my Army man.
Sorry for the missing picture of old guns Joel, but this is the best gun picture I could find in my age group.
Thank you for serving our country and beating down the enemy of our great nation: (Guitar Hero)
Thank you for the millions of hours spent in ultra boredom and for the communal sleep in a giant sand-infested flea pit.
Thank you for the armpits of death you endured for months on end. Thanks for the crappy food consumption and the holidays spent away from all you love.
Thank you for dressing in 90+ pounds of uniform and armor to go out in 100+ degrees.
And last but not least, thank you for always having my fake son-in-law grin ready for my lovely daughter when you get home.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The dreaded 8

8 Things I look forward to:
When my mind and body finally agree what age we are
Every call from any of my kids
The day I conquer the cell phone or the computer
4:30pm Monday through Friday
The day I own my own house (not that renting has stopped me from improving it mind you)
Packages, gifts, treatsies, surprises!!!
Trying any new kind of chocolate
Visiting the grand kids

8 Things I did yesterday
Talked to Tobi (she sounds like she is Minni Me Mouse)
Built Mothers day cards with the kids
Taught a Primary lesson
Went to Church
Taught Phoenix and Kale to play marbles
All the laundry
Carried a 4 year old with 2 casts on her legs around sharing time
Cleaned Kale's room to find his Superman Costume

8 Things I wish I could do
See all 10 of my Grand kids together at once
Keep the dog from eating shoes
Exercise without cardiac repercussions
Take a long Hawaiian vacation
Swim every day
Help all my kids with money
Shop for new furniture
Move to a better neighborhood

8 Shows I watch
Escape to Chimp Eden
Iron Chef
Star Trek (whenever it is on)
uh… That's it

Some reasons I will not tag anyone
Don't know 8 bloggers
Do not want to anger anyone
I do eat chocolate at least 3 times a day so I am mellow
It took me 3 days to complete this

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Happy Mothers Day

What makes a mother? It is definitely not the ability to cook, or clean, or sew, or even give birth. It is the ability to nurture. To love someone more than yourself. Motherhood is about support and character building. About Constant Vigilance, teaching, and protection. To care for and about that being even when they are at their most un-lovable. Through all the illnesses, sleepless nights, corny school plays, a B+ on homework (you mostly did for them), sports events they lost, ice cream headaches, tooth fairy night maneuver's, and other less challenging moments; you watch them with a sparkle in your eye (and some times a twitch in that eye too) and love in your heart that can not be described in words. It is knowing that this person is yours and you are theirs... forever. If the world stopped tomorrow and all the universe ceased to exist, being a mother was the one thing I did which I am proud of. Look at these people, I did that!!