Friday, February 27, 2009

It just does not get any better than this. You can see the weekend clearly from here.
The work week is nearly done and 1/2 the people take today off as part of their weekend anyway.
I personally love Fridays because the phones are generally slow, the boss leaves early, we may get to leave early, and best of all… when I get off I am not coming right back after some sleep!
The recreational part of my life begins tonight!!
Bring out the scrabble and orange soda.
The party animal in me is flexing her claws. I might even wash the dog.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Thursday is the day you wait. I am currently waiting for Friday.
Thursday happens very close to the week-end and if you are careful and quiet you can see Saturday coming.
Usually things pick up at the grindage because everyone wants to get it all done by Friday afternoon.
You begin to see signs of life and the future doesn't seem so far down the road now.
Today in my little section of the work area I am wearing my readers because I forgot my real glasses.
The boss had me book a room in Cortez Colorado for some delivery or other and the light at the end of the tunnel
is actually visible. Yes, it is true, this week has an end and it's almost here!!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Wednesday is the day which marks the beginning of the better part of the grindage.
The first 2 days are terrible and much groaning and grimacing accompany them.
This day has a little lift at the end of it because the grind is 1/2 over when Wednesday ends. Here at my work it is also pay day, so everyone attends the grind today. Payday and being able to see the of the end of this week are great reasons to be here on Wednesday.
By Wednesday you actually have remembered what you were doing on Friday and with any luck, you have finished most of it by now.
The grindage seems to have a lighter grey color on Wednesday afternoon
All extracurricular activities occur on Wednesday nights. (Baseball practice, Karate practice, Whiffle Ball practice) Some sports director somewhere decided we are awake enough by Wednesday evening to deliver kids to the practices. I babysit while BD works.
This is a test of my patience and the kids' ability to work a nerve. So far, they are winning big time.
So here is a cheer for Wed Nes Day. The middle of the week is here!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Terrible Tuesday

Terrible Tuesday
Tuesday is the second day of the grind. It is not as much of a shock as Monday was to your system, yet it isn't far enough into the week to be a good day either.
Tuesday begins a little earlier than Monday as you haven't got the "I got used to sleeping in" excuse to use on this day.
Most serious work begins on Tuesday since everyone wandered around on Monday talking about the weekend all day.
Also most serious work dodging begins on Tuesday. My boss doesn't show up until Tuesdays because the previous day is a recovery day for him.
When the boss shows up it is like a hurricane goes through the office. Suddenly paper starts flying, chairs throw their occupants out into the isles,
or people in the isles run for their chairs, laughter and talk stop, writing implements fly, the calculators clickety click, file drawers open and close,
the computers flash as all the internet connections go down, and a hundred mouses click at once.
This day should be taken out of the week just for being so boring. In fact, the only good thing about Tuesday is that Monday is over.
Let the monotony continue.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Not me Mondays.... ew!

Monday is the first day of the grind.
You go to work and pretend you remember what you were doing Friday, then pretend to continue doing it.
Every other earth dweller at your work complains that the weekend days are shorter and go faster than the workdays.
This will generallly be the topic of discussion most of the morning on Grind Day.
Smile and nod. Phrases like "you're not kidding" and "It went so fast" will help with this affirmation of a time warp.
Do not become alarmed, there is no break in the space time continum.
The weekend days seem to go faster because we do not stare at a clock all day wishing it would move faster.
Time at work on Monday is called "the grind". This reference has absolutely nothing to do with the speckled black and
brown remains in a filter.
"Grind" when used in reference to Monday means the heel of your respective boss' shoe which is placed on your neck when you walk through the door of your workplace and is usually removed only on Friday afternoon when he goes golfing. Without you.
It is called "the" grind because each one is taylor made just for your mind's torture.
Sometime when we are all sleeping as children, someone measured us and created work to slowly turn us all into homicidal maniacs. This is best known as going Postal, because it works best on the mailman.
Thus every Monday we trudge in to our prison and start out a 5 day course of work and take up the monotony call.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

One week later....

The lump on the noggin was the worst of the bruise damage.

What is really funny about this post is that like the quoter that I am I always say "and then I'll turn green, and grow a second head". This is from Fraggle Rock and is usually in reference to something I believe will never happen.
So due to circumstances beyond my control, I grew the second head (a goose egg) and then turned green. Evidently, I can turn green. The lovely lump from the lava lamp turned into a lovely green bruise and is sliding off my head onto my forehead.

The second funny thing I want you to know is that I had decided to wear yellow spandex and be Wolverine for the family reunion which all of us had decided would be Super Hero themed.

The 3 wounds on the back of my hands actually hurt the worst of any of the injuries on my body and I have officially decided the look might not be worth the effort.

There is no cute way of presenting these pictures. The road rash starts here and goes on down to the knees. 9 days old, it looks like someone beat me with a hammer. For the sake of semi-modesty I draped and covered and shot the pix from weird angles. Hope you (especially my son in laws) are not gouging your own eyes out right about now. I left out the chin, stomach and thighs, hoping to keep that illusion of beauty and boobs!
Anyway I wanted to blog something funny and the state of the body right now is funny. All I need is to be in a car wreck with someone I am mad at. I could get anyone arrested. "Look, he beats me all the time!"
At work they think I have formed some old ladies Fight Club and am bare knuckle brawling at night. The rational is that I could not get this many cuts, bruises and lumps on my own without being in a serious fight. They keep asking me if I am OK at home with BD. Like she is boozing it up and clobbering me at night. As IF.
I would kick her trash.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

The best week - and the worst week

OK This is getting crazy around my life.
Today a man at work gave me a vending machine.
That's right, a vending machine.
We were all complaining that he never fills the thing up and it has been empty for several weeks and he turned to me and said he would give it to me if I wanted it. So I filled it up and here we are with a vending machine.
Crazy huh? I watched him clean all the quarters out of it and he said he makes about $1,200 a year on the machine if he keeps it filled.
I am not sure what to do except go with it.......
Hey, the guy who owned it before was not filling it up because the price of things has gotten so high he was only making 3 cents an item.
So I changed the prices and filled it up. We will see if it works!
I can not imagine it will sell less than it already does and if it does then I'll stop putting stuff in it.

Meanwhile, I expect to be in the hospital or worse tomorrow anyway. I have had 2 really bad accidents this week and tomorrow is Friday the 13th! I fell down the driveway on Monday and bumped my chin on the curb. I have several large bruises up and down my front. My right hand looks like Wolverine after he pulls back in the claws, only it's road rash.
Last night I pulled a Lava lamp down onto my forehead in BD's bed while I was asleep "*&^%$*". It really hurt and now I have a goose egg and a bruise on my head also.
Maybe tomorrow I'll let BD drive me to work since I seem to be on some sort of mission for injury this week.
Anyway it has been a crazy crazy crazy life so far and this week seems to be destined to make a memorable one out of itself.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The dog is NOT a puppy!

The dog is not a puppy. So why does she chew virtually everything except what she is supposed to? I am a giant chew toy. The old beds are chew toys. The pencils and pens and crayons in the house, chew toys. The blankets and sheets, chew toys. The children's toys, chew toys. Every shoe known to have graced any ones foot in the house, chew toys. Plastic cups, paper plates, Kleenex, t.p., paper towels, sponges, paint brushes, and oven mitts, you guessed it, chew toys!
The friggin chew toys we buy by the dozen?, ignored chew toys. She spits the rawhide bonz and chaser ballz back at me like they are poison.
This is not a stupid dog. The other night Phoenix did not finish his hostess cupcake and left it on my bedside table. The dog snatched it up and ran. I screamed "NO BAD DOG" and then sensing that I was too late I lectured her on the possible death she faced from Chocolate and how bad it was for her, etc.... She had not gone 3 feet away and she just stood there cowering and looking at me. When I was done she spit the whole darn cupcake back up on the floor. She had not even chewed it. It still had some t.p. around it from when I took it from Phoenix and wrapped it up. As I said this is not a stupid dog. Since then she has NEVER touched anything on my bedside table. I write this as I have taken from her mouth in the last 5 minutes, a pen, 1/2 of a sponge paintbrush, a peg from the bookcase, and a wad of t.p.
The other thing I have a problem with for Cheyenne is that she will NOT wear any kind of leash, halter, or collar. She chews them off. She actually growled at me when I tried to put one on. I think someone tied her up and beat her or something. Anyway, she is upstairs now terrorizing something so I better go find her.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

My thing is broke

It's official, my blog spot is broken. I must sincerely apologize to all of the blog visitors here for this. My "I tag" thing dropped some of my responses, perhaps in boredom, and my muzak is stuck on the Grinch song.
Since I have NO clue how to change these things we are all stuck with it.
I would send an SOS to Tobi (the blogmaster) but she is out making her debit card smoke at the Mecca by now as her taxes finally came.
Deal with the lame outdated muzak and 1/2 dead profile people we are in a recession here.

Yes, this is a pitiful attempt to shame my blogmaster to fix the blog.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

What wandering I do

What is the deal?
About a year ago I started taking Ambien to sleep
You take the pill and blammo, 15 minutes later you are out. Or so I thought.
Then one day I discovered that I was missing time. I started the movie "Hellboy" and I vaguely remember turning it off. When I turned the DVD player on the next day, it was at the end of the movie. I remember about 10 minutes of the movie. I actually was up and playing with my grandson and watching the movie for a couple of hours after my memory ends.
Since that incident I have been having these sleep "walking" episodes a lot. From what my kids say I guess I am coherent, agile, and able to do complicated tasks like cooking.. all while technically asleep. I don't know if I really am "asleep" but I have only vague memories, if any the next day of what I did. Last night I painted my grandson Kale's room blue.
I remember the beginning of the process like taping up the doors and the floors, but I woke up without a spot of blue on me… so either I bathed or I am a better painter when I am asleep than when I am awake.
I have painted 4 rooms in my home, sewed up a bunch of pant hems for my grandson, cooked, cleaned, done laundry, had several dozen conversations with various people, even put the trash out on the curb.
The one activity I find most bizarre is that I cook when I am unaware I am doing it. One day I woke up to a wonderful smell and discovered I had cooked a whole turkey dinner the night before. I have since made corned beef in the crock pot and a couple different roasts (all of which I do not remember doing).
I seem to have no ill effects from all this night time adventuring and I stay in the house, so who can say why I am doing it and if it is bad or good?
I only know I wish I had this when my kids were growing up. My house is easier to clean when I don't know I'm doing it.