Monday, June 22, 2009

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Today did not start out well.
I had a huge hole in my tire and pulled over into Prairie Dog city to change it.
So I thought I would call work and see if one of the manly men there would come rescue me from the Plague riddled area and fix my tire.
NO They were all busy doing "manly" work things.
I changed my first flat tire today. HA I did it with nothing but a book and a little tiny jack kit thingy. HA
I kept wondering if one of the Prairie Dogs was gonna bite me in the butt for sitting so near them and give me Bubonic Plague.
They seemed to think it was the better part to ignore me (since I was sitting in all the Plague germs they left on the ground?)
It may be that I am contaminated with Plague germs on my shorts and shoes, but I triumphed over the tire!!
Meanwhile, several of these manly men have stopped by my desk to check up on their paycheck's progress.. What gall. I have a can of fix a flat on my desk and a sour look on my face.
There will BE NO PAYROLL QUESTIONS TODAY.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Clumsy??

Clumsy don't mean stupid.
Just because I tripped over the contents of the bad bag from WalMart which gave out and dumped in front of my feet as I was walking to put it away
doesn't mean I'm clumsy
The arm in the sling and the several bandages on my body
do not mean I rolled like a 1960's space capsule on re-entry or that I landed like one either... Ker Splash
The crooked glasses and corresponding hole in the door
does not really prove the theory of a graceless face-plant
The fact that I limped into work today
proves I am not totally wiped out, doesn't it?
Or is this just another sign of stupidity showing back up at the scene of the wipeout??
Maybe tomorrow I won't wake up wondering if anyone got the number of the truck that hit me. Meanwhile, I stumble on.
Wounded but still kicking

Friday, June 5, 2009

Fun Fun Fun




There has been a giant upheaval in the household for the last week. Summer is here and with it we get Dakota. I love each and every one of my Grandchildren, but put 3 hyper boys in a house together and whoa nelly is there a lot of stuff going on. We now have 2 military bases (made of turned over furniture and blankets) A haunted house made of toy boxes and a turned over couch and beds. And the bathroom door is history. Evidently, nobody, not-me, and I don't know broke it. There are no dry towels in this house and all the shorts are wet too. Hoses are for soaking. The trampoline is dead and we need to get a new one. I believe one of the Jedi used the force on it and broke the springs during the epic battle last week. During the boxing match Kale got a great bruise on his face. Phoenix has stripes on his limbs from the Kung Fu battle with Ninja sticks. Dakota has no shoes left in the place because while he was pretending to be a pitt Bull and biting the dog she evidently took it to heart and ate his shoes later in revenge. There is also no food in the house because 13 year olds can EAT. Nothing is sacred. He will eat it unless it runs out the door first. 4 gallons of milk last 2 days! Ice cream is bought in the giant bucket size and we just keep the koolaid faucet running. He can also (assisted by Phoenix) eat one of those HUGE bags of cereal in a day. I love the caos!! Tonight we taught them to table dance for dollars!!
No what really happened was I bought them each shirts and flip flops and Dakota pointed out that they all match, at which point I had a mutiny on my hands and had to give them each a dollar to pose.
Gotta go.. Smoke alarm usually means trouble...