Grandmother Hood

Ah Grandmotherhood what a great state of being.
All the fun and none of the responsibility. It doesn't bother me if they eat donuts for breakfast because tomorrow they will be back with Mom & Dad toeing that healthy eating line. The fits and crying is going to end soon because their parental units will be coming back to take over. So I bought them a toy and let them play with play dough on your living room carpet, so what? I'll be gone and you get to clean it up. Cupcakes before dinner? Who told you that? We played hide and seek in your bedroom? Who said we couldn't? Make them clean up their mess, wash themselves, eat dinner first, behave? Don't ever say it. That is anti-amoo-istic.
Grand motherhood is ideal for those of us unfulfilled moms. The more irritated and agitated the parents of your grand kids get, the happier you become.
It is a carma thing. "Let your children do unto you as you did to me".
And man does it work.

Tobi was the princess and her father and his parents made NO bones about it. I was a wart on the end of her prince Charming's nose. Daddy was the greatest thing ever invented, and I was second to everyone else in her lineup. I was incapable of doing it right, and let me tell you when a 5 year old pops off regularly about how "You're doing it wrong!", that hurts.
AH the sweetest little dumpling on the earth is Cora. She has figured out which buttons to push on Monie and she does it really well.
My Grandmother Carma alarm goes into peals of delight whenever I see that girl.
Joshua was the martyr. Every time Dakota hangs his head and acts like he is dying from the request his parents just made, I nearly fall over with glee. What? He is failing Art? No kidding, let me see, what grades did you get in Jr. High? He only wants to play games and has 3 girlfriends at 11? No! Dalton is throwing a fit for a giant radio control Hummer and you said NO? Let Amoo get that for you Darling.

Sarah was self contained. All she needed was a kinky and a thumb. Nothing I provided or did mattered to her. She had the world figured out and wanted to be left the hell ALONE. She even did not like the name I gave her and made us all call her Michelle for years and years. She moved under the stairs once to get away from all of us.
Ian is a jewel. He thinks he knows everything and wants to do it ALONE. It is almost more than I can bear because she also got the "Girly Girl" Xandra. It is like if I went out and picked a kid to torture Sarah the most, it would be a girly girl. TEE HEE Not to mention the shoe thing, (rapturous waves here) that your daughter would be in love with the one thing you are most possessive over is very Carmic and she is officially her mother's size now!!

When ever Phoenix throws a screaming tantrum and Kale announces that he has "stones and a man stick in my pants", besides being a little emarrassed, I come close to a brain embolism of happy retribution. Brittany looks like the Secretary of State when the whole world has gone to DEFCON 3 and the President calls on the Red Phone for an accounting. Her eyes shoot fire at the kids but all she can do is make these horrible faces and watch as the whole (store, doctor's office, mall, dentist's office, whatever) turns to see who's really BAD children these are and watch the drama. I just gratefully slip into the other aisle to shake with laughter. You were SO BAD as a child Brittany.
Yes, being a Grandmother is like a giant Carma fest. You took it like a trooper lady, now come get some back!!