One week later....

The lump on the noggin was the worst of the bruise damage.

What is really funny about this post is that like the quoter that I am I always say "and then I'll turn green, and grow a second head". This is from Fraggle Rock and is usually in reference to something I believe will never happen.

So due to circumstances beyond my control, I grew the second head (a goose egg) and then turned green. Evidently, I can turn green. The lovely lump from the lava lamp turned into a lovely green bruise and is sliding off my head onto my forehead.

The second funny thing I want you to know is that I had decided to wear yellow spandex and be Wolverine for the family reunion which all of us had decided would be Super Hero themed.

The 3 wounds on the back of my hands actually hurt the worst of any of the injuries on my body and I have officially decided the look might not be worth the effort.

There is no cute way of presenting these pictures. The road rash starts here and goes on down to the knees. 9 days old, it looks like someone beat me with a hammer. For the sake of semi-modesty I draped and covered and shot the pix from weird angles. Hope you (especially my son in laws) are not gouging your own eyes out right about now. I left out the chin, stomach and thighs, hoping to keep that illusion of beauty and boobs!

Anyway I wanted to blog something funny and the state of the body right now is funny. All I need is to be in a car wreck with someone I am mad at. I could get anyone arrested. "Look, he beats me all the time!"

At work they think I have formed some old ladies Fight Club and am bare knuckle brawling at night. The rational is that I could not get this many cuts, bruises and lumps on my own without being in a serious fight. They keep asking me if I am OK at home with BD. Like she is boozing it up and clobbering me at night. As IF.

I would kick her trash.