Buttocksicants

My boss, wonderful man that he is offered me a gym membership. If I will go, he will pay.

The offer is a double edged sword. If he pays I MUST go because it would seem ungrateful of me to not go.
However... If I go I may just die. Seriously, I have a heart problem.
There is also the matter of my buttocksicants. I am used to a certain amount of cushioning in the rear. In fact I am used to a certain level of creature comforts which do NOT include sweat rolling off my body, fast movement of the vertical mass, or leaving my home.
A good book, a good movie, a good steak, chocolate sin cake, and a diet coke. Arranging these things takes time, effort, and $. These are the things I like around me. My dog and grandchildren are also invited as long as they don't try any poaching on my cake.
Buttocksicants are the hormones and fat levels in my body telling me to "just say no" to exercise. For 53 years they have ruled my body.
On the other hand, it is free. On the other hand me in yellow and blue spandex? On the other hand everything is headed south. Did I mention the spandex?
Dilemma in deed.